Teenagers are in such a quandary — caught between a body and social pressures mimicking adulthood and confusion about how and when they want to grow up. They’re experiencing overwhelming and rapidly changing feelings but most don’t yet have the skill set to express their feelings effectively, challenge impulsivity and/or seamlessly execute a plan. The ways these experiences manifest range dramatically from isolation and withdrawing to overt acting out behaviors and everything in between.

I work with teens who are old enough and/or mature enough to engage in talk therapy. My therapeutic style is always somewhat informal, but with teens, I work hard to make them feel at ease, changing my language some, often using humor, judiciously self disclosing if it will build rapport without compromising boundaries and sometimes using simple tactics like sitting on the opposite side of the couch from them (as opposed to sitting across from them in my usual chair) so as to diffuse the intense eye contact. I try to give my adolescent clients a felt sense that I have affection and compassion for them (because I do — it’s rough being a teen!) which then allows me to hold them accountable without compromising our trust.

As part of my work with adolescents, I will periodically meet with their caregivers to discuss, sparing details, ideas about how to work with some of the themes unfolding in therapy. I conduct this work from a place of humility and deep respect for the never ending efforts required of caregivers while also protecting the trust I have built with my adolescent clients (without which therapy is ineffective).

Adolescents often come into my office struggling with:

• episodic depression and anxiety

• friendships and other relationships

• caregivers

• sibling rivalry

• identity confusion

• academics

• confusion about sexuality

• mood swings that are overwhelming and difficult to manage

• feeling they are in a pressure cooker

• perfectionism

• irritability and anger